Bella Hadid is so much more than just a glamazon in six-inch stilettos.

I was, of course, blown away by her beauty as soon as I stepped into the room to meet her. She really is stunning close up, I can confirm. But she also has an undeniable vulnerability about her. “You look amazing” I told her as she enveloped me into a hug in her expensive fur cardigan. “Really? Wow, thank you, I don’t feel it” she gushed back.

I think most women in the world would love to look like Bella Hadid. She has been catapulted into the spotlight at an incredible speed and in only a few years she has already garnered millions of followers, multiple glossy magazine covers and even a spot walking in the infamous Victoria’s Secret fashion show, alongside her sister Gigi.

But is being one of the most talked about influencers on the planet really all that’s it’s cracked up to be? Bella told me all about her fears and struggles in this very personal interview.

The behind-the-scenes realities of being Bella Hadid

Bella Hadid - Compelo“Well I’m here today and I love London so much. I got here last night super late and I leave in like three hours. Actually I called my agents last night all upset and I said “I just want to stay for two more days, please”. I’m in London so much but this time I just wanted to stay for a little bit longer. I can’t though, I have to work tomorrow in New York. It’s crazy because it looks like I have a lot of down time and a lot of vacations. Especially when people look at my pictures online. But the thing is that I don’t post every day when I’m working but I will post old pictures from previous trips and things which makes it look like I’m on vacation a lot of the time, when actually I’m at work.

“When I’m really intense I will honestly work for four months straight and then I’ll have one weekend off and then I’ll go straight back to work. People think that in between I have so much time off but I only ever take two days off every two weeks, at the maximum. I will go somewhere so that I can breathe and really take a break and get my thoughts back together before I have to go back to everything. I’m a workaholic, I really love it but I’m exhausted a lot and it really takes a toll on you sometimes. But then when I go to sleep every night I think I’m so grateful and lucky but even though it gets really hard. I am so blessed but I do worry that it could all come to an end.

On being an influencer

Bella Hadid - Compelo“It’s actually very scary sometimes. I’m only 20 so it’s really hard for me. I was to be the best influencer I can be, and also be the best role model I can be, and I do love it but sometimes I just want to be a kid and do things that normal kids would do. However it’s also what comes with what I do and the environment and business that we’re in. It is really hard though.

“I’m really trying to be the best role model that I can be. I look up to a lot of the kids that look up to me, just because there are so many kids in the world that are going through so much and going through so much hardship. They are looking up to me but it’s really me looking up to them, because they’re the strongest ones in the world.

“You know my life is very different. Three years ago I wouldn’t have expected this all to have happened to me. I want to enjoy the ride because you never know where the end is. That has really been the hardest part for me. That’s what really freaks me out and worries me at night when i’m going to sleep.”

On becoming a fashion designer

Bella Hadid - Compelo“Yes I would actually love to be a designer! I want to be as truthful as I can to the things that I put out and the things that I design. I think that Chrome Hearts, not only are they my family, but they are also a company and a brand and a legacy that I have always dreamt of working with. It’s so me. I love designing and have done since I was a kid. When I was younger I used to design a lot of things and I was always drawing.

“I really love clothes and I have so much experience from the last few years of modelling, being around a lot of top designers and their creations. I’ve got a lot of fresh ideas from the amount of things that I see. Chrome Hearts are the people I would choose to work with over any other brand. Laurie [Lynn Stark] is the best boss ever. I have my own office there and actually, I had this amazing Bella chair but they sold it! That’s so funny. I hope to really flourish within the company and also I would love to have my own brand one day.”

The Bella Hadid x Chrome Hearts collection is available in Selfridges

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